


The End of the E

by Mouseking13



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Bay Movies), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, F/M, Feels, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Protectiveness, Self-Harm, Swearing, straight up love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 20:52:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17874656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mouseking13/pseuds/Mouseking13
Summary: Evie can't sleep. Her own nightmares scare her away from wanting to close her eyes, but she promised Mikey she'd get some sleep however, she isn't able to fall asleep before he returns from Patrol. When he does come in to get some sleep, he discovers Evie is still awake and the two have a deep conversation about why Evie can't sleep.





	The End of the E

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katie_Scribbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie_Scribbles/gifts).



Evie had been awake for hours, rolling over she lifted the phone off the nightstand, cringing at the brightness slightly as her eyes readjusted to the light.

3:33 am

The Raven groaned, setting her phone back on the nightstand. She had promised Mikey she would try and get some sleep and so far no sleep had been had.

Evie flopped back against the soft mattress, trying desperately to get comfortable. It had taken a while to adjust to sleeping in the sewers and some convincing of Mikey to let her have a tower fan in there for noise but she had become comfortable with the concept.

The insomniac knew exactly why she didn't want to sleep. She knew if she let her eyes fall shut that the scene would play over in her head. That she would be forced to relive that hellish day over and over again and she'd wake up a sweating mess.

Evie stared at the ceiling for a second, admiring the glow in the dark stickers Mikey had put on the ceiling in the shape of a heart to remind her he loved her constantly. Evie smiled at the heart, her stomach filling with butterflies, the same way it always did when she was around him, despite having been together for over two years.

The sounds of voices caught her attention as she rolled away from his bedroom door, knowing exactly who owned those voices.

"Nah, I'll just eat my weight in Evie's chocolate chip pancakes tomorrow morning. Night guys!"

Evie shifted a little, trying to make it look as if she had been sleeping.

With her back to the door, Evie could see the light from the main living area of the lair accompanied by the silhouette of her lover before it faded as he quickly shut the door, not wanting to disturb his supposedly sleeping lover.

Carefully Mikey felt his way over to the chair, beginning to strip layers of Armor, tossing them into a pile he'd sort out later.

With most everything discarded, he made his way over, tugging back the blankets and snuggling his plastron against Evies back, which sent a shiver down her spine.

"Hey Blueberry...I know you're asleep right now but I'm just bursting at the seams to tell you that I love you...Patrol tonight was incredibly boring and all I wanted to do the whole damn time was come back here and snuggle up against my blueberry...I just hope you know how much I love you." He whispered, gently petting her messy hair.

Evie felt more and more butterflies fill up her stomach as he talked, his voice a soothing touch of ASMR to her night.

Evie pretended to stir slightly, shifting her weight slightly as she turned, looking over her shoulder at Mikey "Hey Mikester..." She whispered, rolling over to face him.

Mikey scooched back a little to give Evie more room.

"I"m sorry blueberry...I didn't mean to wake you up." He said quietly "Go back to sleep honey..."

Evie shook her head "No, it's okay...I wasn't asleep anyway." Evie replied gently, cuddling up to him once more.

Mikey sighed "Evie...sweet thing, you need to get some sleep...you can't be the best version of Evie if you're sleepy." He said quietly, trying to comfort her to sleep.

But it wasn't working, the thought of having that nightmare again was enough to keep Evie awake.

"But Mikey I--" Evie stopped, not sure how to word her feelings.

Every fiber of her being was screaming for her to let it out. To throw the bottle of emotions to the floor and let them splatter to the floor, covering the walls, the floors, the furniture in his room, the poster of Gerard Way on the back of the door all would hear about her nightmares, her anxiety, her guilt, and the confession.

"What is it baby girl?" He asked, rolling over and turning on the walking dead lamp, propping his head upon his hand, his elbow digging into the soft mattress.

Evie sighed softly, sitting up completely, crossing her legs as she did.

"I'm scared." She began, watching Mikey's face contort into confusion "Of what blueberry?" He asked curiously, those ocean blue eyes fixing with Evies Brown ones.

"O-Of my own dreams...almost every time I close my eyes I have the same stupid nightmare. Every single night. T-That's why." She replied, clutching the blanket in her hands.

Mikey's expression softened "The frog one again?" He asked, scratching his jaw slightly before readjusting his position.

Evie shook her head no "Not the frog one..." She replied, shivering at the thought "I'd do anything to have the frog one again though." Evie added quietly gently running her fingers through the ends of her messy hair.

"Then which nightmare have you been having love? If you'd like we can ask Donnie wh-"

Evie cut him off "No. No one else needs to know about this. I-I'm not even sure if I wanna tell you, Mikey."

Mikey shifted his weight again, looking up at her "but Evie, I'm your boyfriend. Boyfriends help their girlfriends through tough things...however, boyfriends can't help their girlfriends if they don't know the root of the problem."

Evie snickered, he had a point on that one "you sound like Donnie." She replied, looking over Mikey at the bedroom door.

The Aftermath is Secondary. Her eyes fixed on the fire engine red hair Gerard Way had in that photo.

Evie then looked back down at Mikey, her stomach twisting into knots as she saw it.

Her name tattoed on his shoulder. It was a stunning Tattoo except, it had been ruined by the foot. By the electricity that flowed through his body and put him in more pain then Evie could imagine. Sure, most of the tattoo was still there but the end of the second E was missing.

It had been replaced by a little gray speck of what was a massive scar.

All three of them had these scars but for some reason, Mikeys affected Evie the most. Maybe it had to do with the fact Leo was this big badass Leader so the scars looked cool.

Or maybe it had to do with the fact Donatello hid his with his armor and would only ever let Rosaline see them.

While those were the reasons they didn't affect Evie, she couldn't exactly figure out why Mikey's scars hurt her the most.

They were Ninjas, heroes. They were going to get hurt once in a while and sometimes end up with scars.

Evie buried her face in her hands, huffing in frustration as the sadness and rage began to flow through her body. Gently, Evie set her hands in her lap.

"Every time I shut my eyes..." Evie began, turning her gaze away from Mikeys as he listened to her story.

"I see the same scene over and over again." She replied, pinching down on the top of her left hand, digging her long black fingernail into it.

"You're keepin' it too vague princess...I can't help ya if I don't know the full extent of what's going on." He said, sitting up and reaching over to the foot of the bed, grabbing hold of that fuzzy blanket at the end of the bed, wrapping it around Evie's shoulders gently before laying back down.

Evie chuckled softly, snuggling into the black material, hugging it close to her body, the ouija board only being slightly visible on her back.

"Everything is destroyed...you're- nowhere to be found and I have that damn knife in my hand..." She explained softly, her eyes flickering over to the dresser where she kept that switchblade.

Mikey nodded "Go on baby girl, I'm listening." He said, stretching out and gently putting a hand on her knee.

Evie shivered at his touch, soaking in the feeling.

"A-and I'm frantically looking for someone who can get me there because I- I need to save you." She explained, trying not to cry. Opening that bottle of emotions was so difficult it was like the lid did not want to come off.

"Save me from where?" He asked, tugging the blanket up over his body slightly.

"From..." Evie stopped, looking back at Gerard "From Shredder."

Mikey raised an eyebrow "But Shredders in Prison babycakes..nuttin to worry about!"

Evie shook her head "In my dream, he's not in prison..."

Mikey frowned a little "Oh...I see, carry on."

Evie took a deep breath, this was it. There was no way she could back out of it now, even if she tried Mikey would pester her about it till she spilled everything to him.

"F-Finally I find Raph and then I-" Evie stopped "And then it goes black for a moment and then I'm there, forced to relive that stupid day every single night," Evie replied, pulling her nail from her hand, the indent deep and slightly bleeding.

Mikey looked up at her, a serious look on his face "Where blueberry?" He asked, looking up at her.

"At...at the sacks estate..." She replied softly, looking away from Mikey, back at Gerard.

The Aftermath is secondary.

Mikey nodded "I gotcha princess..." He said, not at all flinching as Evie gently put her hand on top of his.

"A-And then, Raph is fighting Shredder and- and then I-" Evie stopped, her breathing becoming uneven as she felt the angry tears form in her eyes "Every single night I'm forced to run down those stupid stairs and no matter how fast I run I'm always too late and Sacks wins..." She said, reaching up and drying the angry tears that trailed down her cheeks.

"And I'm reminded yet again that if I had just thrown the stupid damn knife at him, this wouldn't have happened!" She cried out "Leo wouldn't have those scars, Donnie wouldn't have those scars and most of all, You, My darling Mikey wouldn't have those god damn stupid fucking scars! Your tattoo wouldn't have that stupid scar over the end of the E in Evie!" She cried out, not wiping away the hot tears that dripped down her face.

Mikey stared at her, his expression soft as he pieced the story together.

Once all the pieces were in place, he saw the picture. In his blueberries dream, he was being killed and there was nothing she could do about it. His blue eyes looked over at his shoulder. The tattoo coming into sight, there it was. The speckle Evie was talking about. Mikey looked back up at Evie as she began speaking again.

"And I've been having this nightmare for over a year now Mikey and I- I'm sorry..." She said, using the corner of the blanket to dry up her tears.

"What're you sorry for blueberry? You don't have anything to apologize for..." Mikey said softly, looking back up at her as she began speaking again.

"I-I'm sorry that I didn't throw the knife at Shredder and bought you more time to save Splinter...I was too afraid and like a damn idiot I cowered in the corner." She said softly, watching as Mikey sat up.

"Baby girl, no, no no no no, don't say that. You did exactly what I told you to do. You stayed outta sight." He replied, looking at her.

Dammit. Now he was blocking the Gerard Poster.

Evie looked away from him, staring down at the blankets beside her for only a moment before Mikey reached down and gently tried to turn her chin but Evie wasn't having it. She was too afraid to look at Mikey.

"Evie. Look at me." He said, trying once more but a bit more firmly, this time, Evie gave in and looked at him.

"Evie Rose Arevon, you did exactly what I asked you to do. You stayed outta sight. Had the foot seen ya, they would have grabbed you and probably killed you...you know I couldn't live with myself if I let you die."

"But you wouldn't have let me die, Mikey, I would have gladly sacrificed my life to buy you all more time and-" Mikey silenced her with a kiss, a true, deep loving passionate kiss.

"Silence Bottom..." He said as he pulled back "Let your top speak." Mikey added before continuing "I told you to stay in that spot because I wanted to protect you. Protecting you was my top priority." 

"And Pro-" Mikey cut her off once more with another passionate kiss "I wasn't finished so silence bottom. Furthermore, I'm beyond proud of you for telling me about your feelings Evie." He said, taking both her tiny hands in his.

"Mikey that isn't...that isn't everything I have to tell you," Evie said nervously, looking away again.

Mikey raised a brow "What else is bugging ya baby girl?"

Evie sighed, pulling her hands from his as she reached up, gently tugging the blanket off her shoulders, letting it fall behind her.

"A-After that day...I fell into a deep state of depression as it scabbed and as you all were healing from your injuries...I-I remember locking myself in my apartment because you were too weak to come to visit me...I could isolate myself and-" Evie stopped, her hand trailing down to the hem of her shirt.

"And?" Mikey asked softly, looking at her gently "And I-I began to have panic attacks and I stopped eating and all I did was lay in bed and cry. I cried for days straight, I cried until I threw up and then I-" Evie stopped "I did something stupid..."

Mikey tilted his head slightly "Evie...what did you do?"

Evie gently tugged the hem of her shirt up, the long thick scar on her stomach was exposed.

"I know I made up some elaborate story about this scar but that was a lie. I-I did it to myself...to punish myself for failing to protect you and I-" Evie stopped, looking up at Mikey and felt her heart drop.

Mikey stared at her scar, the tears dripping down his face as he made an array of sounds Evie couldn't understand it was a big twittering mess.

Maybe they were curses, maybe they were just sobs but Evie felt the guilt overcome her.

"I-I'm sorry Mikey...I-I shouldn't have told you and I- Please don't cry Mikey...please..." She pleaded, reaching over and drying off his tears.

Mikey finally then said something Evie understood.

"I love you." He said, motioning her over "C-Come here." He stuttered out, holding out a hand for Evie.

Evie quickly grabbed hold and Mikey pulled her into his arms. He just desperately wanted to hold her. He held her close to him, her body straddling his legs as he wrapped her up in a tight hug.

"Evie, Evie please- please don't ever do something like this again! Please!" He pleaded, sounding so incredibly helpless.

Evie felt her heart shatter and drop down into her stomach, she'd need more than Elmer's glue to piece it back together. Maybe some gorilla glue would work.

Evie wrapped her arms around him, sniffling as she failed miserably to hold back the tears.

The sound of his sobs were crushing her.

"I-I love you too much and you are too beautiful for things like that. You- You're a damn goddess Evie and I- I never ever want you to hurt yourself like that ever again..." He said, holding her against him tightly.

Evie couldn't help the tears that spilled out as she nodded "I-I won't Mikey...I won't I promise..."

"Swear?" He asked, pulling back slightly, his big tear-filled blue eyes meeting with her brown ones.

"I Swear..." She replied softly, pressing her forehead against his, giving his snout a little boop with her own nose. "I swear Michelangelo, I swear."

Mikey lightly blinked the few tears from his eyes, letting them trail down his face as he just held her tightly.

"You are my world Evie and if something is ever bothering you...you know you can always come to talk to me right?" He asked, "no matter what."

Evie nodded her head gently "Uh huh...I know now and I swear I'll always come to you if something is bothering me..."

Mikey kissed her passionately, their way of sealing a promise. Evie returned his kiss before pulling back, looking into his eyes.

"I love you, Michelangelo," Evie said softly, giving him a gentle nose kiss.

"I love you more Evie Rose...I love you way more." He said quietly, pressing his forehead against hers, wanting to drill it into her head, he loved her and wanted to give her the world.

'I love you most." Evie replied, giving him one final nuzzle.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, this was just something I thought of after hearing Lea Micheles "Run to you."  
> I dunno why but I did!  
> I hope you've enjoyed this oneshot I was going to post to the collection but Thought it was far too special so it's getting to be on its own.  
> oops?  
> Hope you all enjoyed the pain and Katie..you should be writing.


End file.
